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A Nightmare

In the night, in the infirmary, a dream Bonzo has had many times over the years comes back to him. It has taken many forms, many different settings, different casts of characters, but at its heart, it's always the same.

He's in the Bar earlier. He sees Tanya stumble in, heads over to help her and she draws her gun on him. He goes to draw as well. And his lightsaber isn't there.

She fires, but this time the shots do real damage. One in his chest. One in his throat. And one whizzing by his head.

He collapses to the floor.

And
then the nightmare begins...

Tanya stumbles to her feet while Bonzo is reeling from the pain. He watches, almost in slow motion, as she aims her gun at him, pointing it at his forehead. And then...

"No...p...please..."

There's blood dripping from his mouth as he says this; he can hardly speak, for all the blood in his throat. All he can feel is pain. He's dying; he knows that. And he's pleading for his life all the same.

It's shameful. He'd rather die than plead, yet he feels the tears building behind his eyes and begs not to be killed.

It does no good. As the tears begin to drip from his eyes, he sees Tanya's hand move slightly, notices her finger pull the trigger, feels a second punch in his chest...and then her hand moves, and the finger twitches again. He gasps at the additional pain in his chest...


And then he wakes up with a start in the infirmary.

No. Please, no.

No, he didn't actually plead. No, he's not dying, as uncomfortable as his shoulder might be. But...

Pleading for his life would be bad enough; as human as he is, he knows he'd definitely prefer not to die. But doing so when he knows he's about to die?

It's shameful.

It's a nightmare.

It's a nightmare he truly never wants to live out. He'd rather die first, and a part of him hopes that if it comes to that, he does.

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mandercommander

July 2010

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